Growing up knowing my Chickasaw ways [beliefs and superstitions] my Granny taught me to pay careful attention to my dreams.  When I had a dream I was not sure about what I would tell her and she would ask me questions like, when the person was speaking was their mouth moving, or did you feel anything for example if I was hit with something in the dream did I feel it.  After my Granny passed I continued to study with my elders about dreams and what my dreams were telling or even showing me.  I was taught to pay attention to the vivid dreams, and if the lips of the person speaking were moving that meant they were simply there in the dream.  But, if the lips were not moving but I could hear them talk then that is the message I need to pay attention to.  Eric would always give me a hard time when I talked about my dreams.  His theory was they are just dreams nothing more nothing less.  Eventually came around when his dreams were getting vivid.

When my husband passed I worried so much wondering if he was okay.  I didn’t know and it was gut-wrenching.  You see, growing up whenever I went somewhere I always told my parents where I was going, what time  I would be home, who I was going to be with, and if I was going to be late I called. This, of course, was before cell phones.  That practice continued into my adult life as well.  In my previous job, I traveled a lot so  I would call or text when I left town, boarded the plane, arrived at my hotel and when I was returning I provided bread crumbs to my mom, sister, and Eric until got home.  

When Eric and I got together he started telling me when he left for work, when he was headed home or if he was going to be late coming home.  I needed those messages because at that time he was a police officer so I welcomed a text message at 2 a.m. letting me know his shift was running long or he was headed home. 

This is just something we did.  It would be strange or suspicious if we did not get a message or a phone call from one another when going to work or on travel.  So, when he passed that is all I could think about, “when will he let me know he is okay” or “when will he let me know he made it”.  Not knowing drove me crazy for days. 

There were so many days I felt Eric’s presence around especially on the days that I was so emotional with pain and grief I felt like I was not going to make it through the day.  So when he finally came to me in a dream you can believe I did not want it to end.

Here is my visit:

I was in an oddly shaped living room it was more rectangle than square and more narrow than wide.  There was a couch, an end table with a lamp and a chair.  Opposite the couch was a large picture window and the light coming in was bright.

I was sitting at the end of the couch and Eric comes in and plops down next to me and just smiles his big amazing smile.  I look at him because even in the dream I know he is gone.  He looked so good and happy. 

I asked him, “what are you doing here?” He replied, “I came to see you.”

I was still in shock and asked, “how are you here we buried you?” He replied still smiling, “that’s not me.  I’m okay

I continued to ask questions because I was still confused, “if it wasn’t you then who did we bury?” He replied, “I don’t know.  It wasn’t me.  I’m okay.

Finally, I had to know, “how did you get here?”.  He told me, “I drove my car?”.  I looked around and said, “what car?” and he pointed out the picture window. 

I stood up to walk to the picture window and there was this black shiny two-seater car.  It was shaped like a futuristic sports car with straight lines. There were not any curves on this car at all.  The front of the car came to a point and got wider going towards the end of the car.

I complimented how nice the car looked and how I wanted to drive it.  I even asked, “Can I drive it?  I want to try it out.”  He told me with his big smile, “you can’t drive the car.”

I looked back at the car and turned to look back at him and he was gone.  I was alone in this oddly shaped living room.  The dream was short and sweet.

My take-away from this dream I did receive his message that I have been waiting for.  Eric is okay and he made it home safely.  And the last take-away – it is not my time to drive the car yet. 

The next morning I walked with a little bounce in my step. I smiled and was happy because I knew Eric was okay.  I could not wait to tell others about my dream and they came to the same conclusion I did – it was not time for me to drive the car yet.  Just knowing he was okay made my heart happy.

I have not had a visit like that since then.  He has been in some of my dreams telling me a message that “it will be okay” or “you’re alright” but nothing as vivid as my first dream.  I do not pray or ask for him to come to me I figure he will come back when he needs to.  But, I would welcome a visit anytime.  He is Forever My Always.

3 Comments on “I’m Okay

  1. You are absolutely amazing
    I felt everythying in your writing……

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